Hey guys! This is not what I had planned to post but it’s something I really wanted to share. I made a video to share but an error occurred while uploading it and now it’s gone. So here it is typed out for you and maybe one day I’ll understand the whole video thing.
There’s a clear lesson God is teaching me:
Put Your Hope In God Alone.
I have fibromyalgia, endometriosis, and anxiety. In the past 7 years I have been to countless doctors and have tried countless medicines and other treatments to improve my quality of life. For a while, I stopped going to doctors because the cycle was getting really old. I would go, they would try what they could, then run out of ideas and either ship me to the next doctor or tell me that I just have to learn to live with the pain.
But then I had a baby and it was immediately clear that I need to improve my health to handle motherhood and to give my son a great childhood. More than anything I want to feel better so I can fully enjoy being a mom.
I started going to a new doctor. He might be the first doctor I’ve ever truly liked. He listens to me, and he believes me when I explain how much pain I’m in. He’s not a fan of opioids or antidepressants. I’ve been on both and I’m not a fan either. Best of all, he actually has ideas for things we can try.
I’ve been going to him once a week for around 5 weeks now and I can tell I’ve improved a little. Thanks to him I’ve actually made a tiny bit of progress in my fitness goals. That’s why I was so excited for a new treatment we were going to start this past week.
I say going to because I received a call and they had to postpone it a week. I have to wait a whole week to try it now. Getting that news made me break down.
When you are in chronic pain and every day you are barely surviving, something as simple as postponing the possibility of relief can be devastating.
The next day, after having some time to process everything, I realized that God was using this to teach me something important. I have been putting my hope in the wrong thing. I should be putting all my hope in God but instead, I’ve been putting it in this doctor and the next treatments.
I do it all the time. I put all my hope in the next medicine, the next diet plan, the next physical therapy, and then get crushed when it doesn’t work. I’m putting so much of my emotional energy in these things that just postponing it a week had me in tears.
God lovingly explained to me that I don’t have to live and die according to these disappointments. It doesn’t have to affect my spirit as much as I’ve been letting it. I’ve been misplacing my hope. But, if I put my hope in God and Him alone, He will build me up and make my spirit stronger.
Now, placing my hope in God, I can go to my doctor’s appointment next week with confidence. Not confidence in this treatment but in knowing that God works everything for the good of those who trust in Him. So even if this treatment doesn’t work, my spirit won’t suffer and we can move on to the next thing.
My hope won’t be crushed if I’m putting it in God because He is faithful.
I pray that God will lovingly show you the places you’ve been misplacing your hope.
I pray that God will help us all to put our hope in Him instead. Give us peace, Lord, knowing that you have good plans for us. Thank you, God for protecting our spirit when we trust in you. I pray that you will lovingly show me when I am putting too much of my hope in something and help me refocus it on you, God.
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Have a great week and remember to hope in God because He will never fail you.